black lives matter rally

I've been nervous to post this. I don't know the exact reason why but I'm ready now. So, here it goes. We went to the BLM rally here in Dallas back in July. I wanted to see what was happening in our country with my own eyes instead of just reading about it later. We got there not too long after the rally began. There were tons and tons of people, signs up everywhere, police officers all around, and so much emotion. You could just feel it. 

I didn't know where I fit it in this whole thing. I'm a white person. Was I seen as an enemy? Did I look like I didn't belong? I definitely felt out of place. But I wanted to be there. I wanted to be a white person in a nearly all black crowd because I wanted to show that I was not afraid - that I didn't feel scared. And I truly didn't. This rally was beautiful. It was empowering. It was thoughtful. People spoke into each other, nothing about it felt violent. We listened for awhile and then we left. Not for any negative reason - we just decided to head out and hang with some friends. 

About an hour later, my phone starts blowing up. There was a shooting. Right where we had just been. It was a surreal feeling knowing that if we would have stayed longer we could have been killed and also heartbreaking knowing that people I had just seen were. I could have been standing next to a murderer. I could have taken his picture. 

Even though it ended tragically, I'm glad we went. This is something I want to be a part of. I'm in it. I'm here.

Lindsey Brown